


Drunken Vulnerability

by lesdemonium (winnerstick), winnerstick



Series: Romtober 2020 [30]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Drinking, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Apologizes, I mean sort of, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Kinda, M/M, he's just braver, jaskier is drunk but still eloquent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27281797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winnerstick/pseuds/lesdemonium, https://archiveofourown.org/users/winnerstick/pseuds/winnerstick
Summary: Jaskier finally approaches Geralt about his feelings about what happened on the mountain.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Romtober 2020 [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949827
Comments: 12
Kudos: 251





	Drunken Vulnerability

After the mountain, things were different. Jaskier held Geralt at length, made himself smaller, quieter, as if that would protect him from Geralt’s unfair tirades again. Geralt knew he had Jaskier’s forgiveness--Jaskier never would have agreed to travel with them if he hadn’t--but there was something still off about Jaskier’s mannerisms.

Geralt tried, in vain, to poke at Jaskier’s newfound standoffishness. He did all he could to coax Jaskier out of his hurt and anger and back into something familiar. Nothing worked. There was too much distance between them, and no matter how hard Geralt ran, he could not cross it. He could not make it back to Jaskier. Instead, he had to wait. But what for, he wasn’t sure.

It happened two months into them reuniting. Geralt had retired to his room while Jaskier remained downstairs, drinking and making merry with the other patrons. They all took separate rooms, now, unless on nights when they did not have enough coin to afford three. When they could afford it, Ciri always got her own, and Geralt and Jaskier would either get a room with two beds, or Geralt would sleep on the floor. Each night, Jaskier looked troubled, but did not speak up. Geralt did not speak up, either.

Tonight, they could afford three rooms. So when he heard Jaskier come up the stairs, he intended to only listen long enough to ensure he made it safely to his own bed. Instead, he heard Jaskier stop outside Geralt’s door. He stood there for a long time, touching the doorknob occasionally, then apparently losing his nerve and letting go. The fourth time he did this, Geralt opened the door.

“Jaskier, what do you need?” Geralt asked, and tried to soothe his voice to be something soft, curious, rather than harsh and demanding.

Jaskier stared at him for a long moment, his eyes hazy with drink, then looked away. He looked just past him, into the room. “Can I come in?” he asked.

Geralt stepped back, opening the door further, and allowed Jaskier to step inside. For a long while, that’s all it was. Jaskier stood there, his arms wrapped around his middle, and stared at the wall. Geralt closed the door behind them and waited. What he was waiting for, exactly, he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t help the small bit of hope that rose up in him.

“I need to--” Jaskier finally said, but cut himself off. He turned to Geralt. “I need to say something. And I need you to not interrupt me.”

Geralt nodded, and Jaskier took a breath.

“You hurt me. You really, really hurt me. On the mountain. But before that, as well. And--you’ve asked for my forgiveness, and I’ve given it, and I meant it. I  _ do _ forgive you. I’m still hurt.” He took a shaky breath and looked around the room. 

After a moment of deliberation, Jaskier crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Geralt hesitated a moment, then followed Jaskier. He stopped before the bard and waited for Jaskier to nod his assent before sinking down onto the mattress beside him.

“Jaskier, I--”

“I’m not done,” Jaskier interrupted. Geralt closed his mouth. “I don’t want you to say anything. Not even when I’m done. If we’re ever to move on from this, get back to what we were, then I need you to… just listen. It took a lot of alcohol for me to feel brave enough to say all this.”

Jaskier eyed Geralt, and Geralt nodded in response. Satisfied, Jaskier sighed.

“I’ve spent no small part of my life following you, Geralt. Being your friend and your barker and… whatever you needed me to be. And getting very little in return. I know, you do your best, and with all you’ve gone through… it isn’t easy. I mean, I could write an entire song series on the trauma you went through in your early years alone. Seriously. Did anyone ever hug you as a child? Or did they just continue to shit-shovel you through life?”

Geralt nudged Jaskier with a bump of their shoulders. Jaskier was getting off track, starting to ramble. He’d never forgive himself if he allowed himself to lose focus. Jaskier offered Geralt a half smile for his troubles.

“Right. Point is--I know why you keep me at a distance. I know why you turned your anger toward me after the dragon hunt. But knowing why doesn’t make it hurt any less, and doesn’t make what you did any less  _ wrong _ .” He chewed at his lip for a moment. “If we are to continue this, and I very much want to... I need more. I want you to call me your friend and smile at me and maybe acknowledge the fact that we  _ both know _ I’m in love with you. You don’t have to reciprocate. All I ask is for some consideration for my feelings.”

Geralt took a deep breath, but had to steel himself against a response. There was so much he wanted to say in return, but Jaskier asked for his silence. Jaskier watched him for a long moment, as if waiting for Geralt to break. When he didn’t, Jaskier looked satisfied. Happy, even. He patted Geralt’s knee and stood up.

“Thank you, darling,” Jaskier said. He walked to the door. “We’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. Just a little more time.”

**Author's Note:**

> YOOO TOMORROW IS THE LAST ONE


End file.
